BEGINNING YOUR JOURNEY TOGETHER
 
When I was a young pastor just starting out, I asked other pastors what they did to provide premarital counseling. Most pastors only offered an initial interview, while others required an automatic six weeks of counseling. I wanted something that would help a young couple begin their life journey together the best way possible. 
 
I have developed this questionnaire and have become adept at looking for red flags which indicate an area of lack of unity or potential trouble for the young couple. For example, if she wanted many children and he did not want any, we would need to talk about this. I wanted to know if they were in debt or not, which would be something we would need to talk about so we could agree on a course of action ahead of time. If there are big differences in their histories this could be a big problem once they are married. If one believed and in tithing and was a committed church attender, but the other did not, this would be something I would raise when we met together. The goal was to ensure there would be no surprises after they were married.
 
Rather than automatically setting aside six weeks as the ideal counseling time, I only booked as many sessions as needed to address the red flags that had been raised in the questionnaire. In some cases, they were so ideally matched and living in such transparency, that there was little to talk about, so I would not book any unnecessary counseling sessions. 
 
I also asked them about how they envisioned the ceremony, what they wanted to see happen, how they viewed their vows. It gave me an opportunity to talk about what they were planning to do with their lives after they were married, as well.
 
This approach has helped me help people have the best possible start. Many have expressed for how it provoked them to think about they had not thought about before and helped them sort out how they really felt and believed about certain issues.
 
During the 40 years of full-time pastoral ministry, and performing many marriage ceremonies, I have found this tool to be the most helpful for anyone who wants to begin their life journey together on the right foot.
 
You will need to order two books; one for the bride and one for the groom. After they work through the questions seperetly, they give the books to the pastor who is doing the counselling. They will go through their answers looking for the issues raised that need to be discussed during the interviews. 
 
Message me about a bulk order discount if you want to keep an number of books on hand each year.